1. Bring a pot of water to boil over high heat. Add a pinch of salt. Once the water reaches a rolling boil, throw in noodles. Start a timer to keep track of your personal optimal noodle cooking time
2. While the noodles cook, prepare an ice water bath in a large bowl for shocking. (If you’re cooking a small batch of noodles, rinsing them in a colander with cold water is fine too. Just make sure to run the noodles under the water until they cool completely and you can’t feel any warmth in them.
3. Stir the cooking noodles often. Get all that starch off them. If they’re thinner noodles, I would say check around the five minute mark and every subsequent minute after until you get a good bite on the noodle
4. Once the noodles are cooked to your liking, immediately shock them in the ice water bath for 1-2 minutes. Remove then transfer to a colander. Quickly rinse off any remaining starch
5. Add butter and chicken schmaltz to a pan over medium-low heat (don’t burn the butter) Brown the garlic. Then add the bouillon, oyster sauce, fish sauce and sugar. Mix until the sauce turns a uniform color.
6. Now increase to medium high heat and add the noodles, quickly mixing, tossing, flipping your pan a bit (if you’re comfortable with and good at it) to coat noodles using the heat to quickly cook that flavor in so well that the color of the sauce permeates every noodle as if the dark side of the force has taken over and no previous rebel force colors remain. Remove from heat and transfer to a plate
Then do that twisty motion with your hands or tongs to make the noodles look like a chef-y pretty plate o’ noodles. Garnish with chopped scallions, fried shallots, black pepper, and freshly grated parmesan cheese.
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