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Funny Frasier Quotes
Frasier

"Nothing says I'm sorry like an in-dash CD player and a driver's-side airbag."
-Niles on bribing his wife with a new Mercedes
“I learned if you kiss her too fast, you can get an ice cream headache.”-Niles, reminiscing about kissing Lilith “Oh, that’s so strange, I dreamt I was tangoing with Maris.”-Niles, after he fell asleep with his cheek next to an ice tray “I saw a twinkle in her eye I have not seen since the neighbor children discovered our new electric fence.”-Niles, hoping to reunite with his wife Maris Frasier: "So, how do the calls look today?"Roz: "Well, we've got a couple of jilted lovers, a man who's afraid of his car, a manic depressive, and three people who feel their lives are going nowhere."Frasier: "Oh, I love a Monday."-Frasier ond Roz at work on the radio show “Lincoln had a brighter future when he picked up his tickets at the box office.”-Frasier on his career prospects during his first radio show “From now on I’ll be relegated to the B-list charities: grubby little theatre companies and last year’s diseases.”-Niles after he wasn’t invited to a benefit "Don't stare at me, Eddie. I'm a humane man, but right now I could kick a kitten through an electric fan."-Frasier addressing his father's dog after having a bad day "What brings you to Seattle, the constant rain?"-Frasier greeting Lilith on their first reunion Frasier: "Niles, I would shave my head for you."Niles: "A gesture which becomes less significant with each passing year."-Kind words exchanged between brothers “Well, it takes an hour to get to the spa, and there’s a two-hour graduation ceremony, at the end of which they’ll all throw their ‘fat pants’ in the air…Let’s say seven o’clock?”-Niles, discussing Daphne’s graduation from a fat farm “Big? You were gi-normous! You looked like a snake that had swallowed awatermelon or a cow or something.”-Martin, complimenting Daphne on how great she looks coming back from the fat farm “So, that’s it, huh? No Americans left?”-Frasier, addressing Roz on her date with a Frenchman